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Onwards and upwards for us. Now let’s get to the footy.

• 🕛️ Match Day 12 Recap

• 🇺🇸 A Rising USMNT Star

• 🥊 Aaron Boupendza KO

• 🧤 MLS Shot Stoppers

• ⚽️ Goal of the Week

• 🤣 Meme of the Week

Match Day 12 Recap

Earthquakes Celebrate 50 Years

In celebration of 50 years since their inception, the Earthquakes played LAFC at Levi’s Stadium with 43,774 in attendance. And boy did they finally show up to play. After giving up a league-leading 25 goals in their first 10 games the Quakes held LA to one goal to get their second win of the season. Hernan Lopez, their club record signing ($6M) and nephew of Diego Maradona made his debut but it was overshadowed by this incredible assist from Christian Espinoza.

LAFC continue their inconsistent season. They’ve failed to win two straight and have allowed 19 goals in 11 games. They can’t be too patient waiting for Olivier Giroud to arrive this summer.

Lucho Heating Up

Lucho scored 17 seconds into this game to make it the fastest goal in club history. And that was all that was needed to pick up three points against a 10-man Orlando. FCC sit firmly in second place in the east and have a real chance to challenge Miami.

Meanwhile, Orlando has 9 points through 10 games with a -7 goal differential. The preseason hopes of a deep playoff run look unlikely.

Welcome Back Walker Zimmerman

Just days after strangling a catfish at the Nashville Predators NHL playoff game, Zimmerman finds the net for Nashville and Montreal (whoops). Nashville needed this win after the attack had been lifeless all season. A 4-1 win at home with Sam Surridge’s first career hat trick might get them back on track.

A Rising US Star

We need to be talking more about Jack McGlynn. The 20 year-old Union midfielder had his second absurd goal (scroll down) in four days to tie D.C. United on Saturday night. His first came in a mid-week loss to Seattle.

McGlynn is a creative playmaker with a nasty left foot that wasn’t being used often enough until now. His vision and IQ are advanced for someone his age. Look at this assist last year or this passing masterclass he put on vs the Revolution.

It’s no surprise European clubs have noticed. Rumors swirled after last season that a move could be imminent. Most notably from PSV Eindhoven (they love their yanks). But the Union kept him in hopes that his value would increase and it sure did. McGlynn made his USMNT debut in a January friendly and is poised to lead the US for our first Olympics appearance in 16 years this summer in Paris.

I’m planting my flag now — Jack will be on the 2026 World Cup roster. There. I said it.

Boupendza Gets KO’d

Last week FC Cincinnati forward Aaron Boupendza was involved in a late night altercation at a bar that left him with a broken jaw. Two days later the club released this statement saying he would be out for 6-8 weeks. Tom Bogert then reported that the guy who punched Boupendza is professional boxer, Quashawn Toler. Toler, who’s refuted that claim, has a record of 17-2 with 12 KO’s. Maybe he got his 13th.

The funniest part of this tweet from Toler… all the Al Shabab(Boupendza’s ex-team) fans are overly excited about the Boupendza KO.

This comes after he’s fallen out of form and been benched the last two games. The $7M DP’s days in Cincy look numbered. At 27, he’ll likely be looking for his 9th professional club. It’s unfortunate such a talented player can’t figure things out.

MLS Shot Stoppers

This chart by The Athletic made its rounds on Twitter this week. Look who’s at the bottom 👀 

Has Hugo Lloris lost it? The 37 year-old was a splashy signing for LAFC but looks to be well past his prime even for MLS. The Earthquakes first goal on Saturday was a good header but doesn’t Lloris look a bit flat-footed and slow to react?

Seattle legend Stefan Frei is also nearing the end of his career. It looks like the Sounders have a succession plan in place as they just signed Andrew Thomas to a contract extension.

Seeing Zac Steffen this low is a cause for concern for the USMNT. With Matt Turner losing his club starting spot and Steffen performing like this, who will be in goal for our boys come Copa America?

Goal of the Week

It was a week full of upper 90 bangers. Like Tomas Chancalay’s stunna, Federico Bernardeschi’s bullet, and Rafael Navarro’s curler.

But Jack takes the award with this 30-yard blast. This kid is special.

Meme of the Week

Apple TV 🤷‍♂️ 

Quick Hits

• The most creative tweet we’ve seen from an MLS team (Link)

• USMNT players Malik Tillman, Sergino Dest, and Ricardo Pepi win the Eredivisie with PSV Eindhoven (Link)

• European giants show interest in Johnny Cardoso after a stellar season at Real Betis (Link)

• CF Montreal Chief Soccer Officer is no longer with the club (Link)

Alright, that’s it ✌️