Happy Humpday friends,

Welcome to all the new readers this week including Dan, Jonny, and Brad. Happy you’re along for the ride! Let’s get right to it…

• ⏯️ Match Day 13 Recap

• 💰️ MLS Most Valuable Franchises

• 🇺🇸 Promotions and Pulisic

• ⭐️ Big Stars Coming to MLS?

• ⚽️ Goal of the Week

• 😆 Tweet of the Week

Match Day 13 Recap

Hell is Real

Ahh… a rivalry named after a billboard on the highway that separates these two Ohio franchises. Quintessential MLS. The Ohio Derby, nicknamed, Hell is Real, ended 2-1 with Cincinnati getting their first-ever win in Columbus.

Reigning MLS MVP Lucho Acosta had a goal and an assist to give him 6g and 6a in 12 games. It’s his fourth straight game with a goal. It felt like this game was played at a different pace than the other games this weekend. FCC are only 3 points behind Miami with a game in hand.

This ends Columbus’s 27-game home unbeaten streak and leaves them winless in their last 7 MLS matches.

D.C. United 3-2 Atlanta United

More Benteke goals? More Benteke goals. He had not one not two but three headers. The hat trick has him tied with Luis Saurez and Chicho Arango in the Golden Boot race at 11. There isn’t a team that is more reliant on one player for their success than D.C. is with the Big Belgian.

Here’s the list of the top 3 players in Aerial Duels Won:

1. Christian Benteke - 134 👀 

2. Kevin Long - 54

3. Lucas Bartlett - 41

Atlanta have lost three straight home games for the first time in club history and are winless in their last six with only 12 points in 11 matches. For a team that has two of the best players in the league, this is a disaster. Gonzalo Pineda might have the hottest seat in MLS. A team this talented can’t be performing this poorly.

Madness in Toronto

Saturday night’s Toronto FC vs NYCFC matchup ended in a baseball-esque benches-clearing brawl. It was ugly. The bad blood stemmed from their previous matchup in March. Toronto FC head coach John Herdman and captain Jonathan Osorio accused NYCFC head coach Nick Cushing of punching one of their players in the last matchup.

Former NYCFC and current Toronto FC keeper, Sean Johnson initiated the chaos. The coaches also bumped heads at the beginning of the video. MLS discipline committee has given suspensions to 5 people involved.

NYCFC fly home with 3 important road points but unfortunately soccer isn’t the story here.

MLS Most Valuable Franchises

Sportico released its list of the world’s most valuable soccer clubs. Fans won’t be surprised who occupies the top spots. But it might be eye-opening that five MLS clubs are among the top 20 most valuable.

So why does a league with a lower quality of play than most of Europe have teams that are valued similarly? A few reasons. The main reason is that MLS is a closed league, without promotion or relegation, so the club’s values are relatively set at a floor. Modern stadiums, cost-controls, and a single-entity structure that allows owner collaboration are other reasons.

The bull case for MLS is simple—the world’s biggest game in the world’s biggest sporting market. And voila… you have 20 of the 50 most valuable soccer clubs on earth.

Promotions and Pulisic

The US Men’s National Team players are wrapping up their club seasons overseas and quite a few are ending it with a bang. Let’s start with one of the players who will be promoted to Serie A.

USMNT forward Nicholas Gioacchini (former Orlando City player and St. Louis City draft pick) will be in Serie A next season with Como, who’ve been promoted for the first time since 2003. Three other Americans (Gianluca Busio, Tanner Tessmann, and Kristoffer Lund) are fighting over another promotion spot in the Serie B (Italy’s 2nd Division) playoffs next week.

Christian Pulisic dropped a brace, becoming the first Milan midfield player to score 10+ goals since Kaka in 2005. That’s 12 Serie A goals and 15 across all competitions this season. Potentially the best season for an American in Europe ever!

Big Stars Coming to MLS

The MLS rumor mill was churning out some hot ones this week. Here are the big names that might be coming to MLS.

Sergio Ramos - Tom Bogert reported on Monday that San Diego FC are in advanced talks to sign 38-year old Spanish legend Sergio Ramos from Seville for their inaugural season. The World Cup and 5 time La Liga champ is expected to be a DP signing.

Kevin DeBruyne - HITC reported that San Diego FC will make a run at the Belgium midfielder when his Manchester City contract expires in 2025. In 2018, DeBruyne’s agent revealed that Kevin loves the US saying, “I think Kevin will end his career in the US rather than in Belgium.” 👀 At 33 and still playing at a top level it seems unlikely that this will happen yet but boy would it be sick.

Marco Reus - The Borussia Dortmund legend is reportedly entertaining a move to MLS. St. Louis City SC are in talks with him and his former teammate Roman Burki is already giving his best recruitment pitch.

Olivier Giroud - We already knew this was coming but it became official on Monday. France’s all-time leading scorer will join LAFC this summer. The 37-year old is tied for 4th in the Serie A Golden Boot race this season showing he has plenty left in the tank.

Goal of the Week

Messi had to step off the field for two minutes due to injury and wasn’t happy about it. But it didn’t matter for Miami. What a goal from the new signing 😮 

Tweet of the Week

This is awesome. Actor, comedian, and Detroit native, Jon Glaser, was on Jimmy Fallon and was dressed head to toe in Detroit City FC gear. DCFC, a USL squad, beat the Houston Dynamo in the US Open Cup last week so Jon made sure to celebrate. Shoutout to an ex-teammate of ours Michael Bryant for successfully converting his PK for Detroit. 

Lower-level soccer is alive and well. And we’re here for that.

Quick Hits

• Jesse Marsch named head coach of Canada’s Mens National Team (Link)

• Blackburn are reigniting talks with Orlando City and Duncan McGuire (Link)

• Sergino Dest’s surgery went well (Link)

• Gio Reyna will return to Borussia Dortmund from loan (Link)

• NY Red Bulls start construction on a new 80-acre training ground (Link)

And that’s a wrap. See you again next week!