Heyyooo,

Mason and I are are writing this from the beach in South Carolina. We’re on a family vacation but don’t worry we’ll always make time for y’all.

Here you go soccer sicko’s…

• ⏯️ Match Day 14 & 15 Recap

• 🤑 MLS Salaries Revealed

• 🥵 MLS Head Coaching Hot Seats

• 🇺🇸 USMNT June Roster

• ⚽️ Goal of the Week

• 😂 Tweet of the Week

Match Day 14 & 15

Two action-packed match days to recap. Quick updates for ya:

The Columbus Crew win two straight (both 3-1 scorelines) after being winless in their last 7 MLS games. You weren’t worried about this team were you? They’ll be just fine.

NYCFC have won 3 straight including their first Hudson River Derby since 2022. After struggling to find the back of the net to start the year they’ve scored multiple goals in 6 out of the last 7 and are firmly in 3rd place in the Eastern Conference. Look at how well they build out of the back here and progress to a goal.

Real Salt Lake continue to roll led by who else but Chicho Arango. A league-leading 13 goals, the new MVP frontrunner is in the best form of his career. Their win in the Rocky Mountain Cup on Saturday was a fun one (highlights here). Chicho’s sidekick Andre Gomez had a brace and now has 7 goals and 4 assists. They're 4 points clear atop the Western Conference.

New England Revolution are abysmal. Caleb Porter’s first year in charge could not be going worse. They’ve suffered 8 multi-goal losses in 18 games across all competitions. That’s Wooden Spoon bound material.

The Philadelphia Union have lost 4 straight at home. FOUR!! Jim Curtain said they’ve “become uncharacteristically fragile at home”. They needed the easy road win against the Revolution but 3 of their next 4 are at home.

Austin FC have won 3 out of their last 5 and are fun to watch each week. Early season calls for Josh Wolff’s job have been quieted. Sebastian Driussi has scored in 3 straight and they sit 3rd in the Western Conference and 8th in Supporter’s Shield.

MLS Salaries Revealed

The MLSPA released player salaries last week. I can’t be the only one who loves looking at how much other people make. Coworkers, bosses, friends, pro soccer players… I don’t care who you are I’m always curious how much dough you’re bringing in.

Let’s play a little armchair GM.

Most Underpaid Players:

1. Riqui Puig ($2.25M) - A top 10 player making the 29th highest salary

2. Cucho Hernandez ($2.88M) - He should be making $8M+

3. Duncan McGuire ($99,716) - Absolute effing steal

Most Overpaid Players:

1. Xherdan Shaqiri ($8.15M) - Chicago has a lot of problems but this is throwing money away. Look at his numbers compared to other MLS attackers 😬 

2. Walker Zimmerman ($3.46M) - Sorry but 31-year-old designated player center backs being paid that much is hard for me to get around

3. Sebastian Ferreira ($3M) - Only 1 goal in his last 17 games. The DP striker has been been a disappointing signing for Houston

More Fun Stats:

• At $20.4M in guaranteed compensation, Messi makes more than 25 MLS rosters

• Only 3 players have earned more during their MLS career’s than Messi has in 2 seasons (Michael Bradley, Lorenzo Insigne, and Jozy Altidore)

• The average salary is $594,390. Up 12% from last year

• Jozy Altidore ($2.24M) and Michael Bradley ($725K) are still being paid by their previous MLS club

• St. Louis City SC have the lowest total guaranteed salary at $12M and their highest-paid player is their goalkeeper (Although Burki is worth every penny at $1.65M)

In 2006 only 5 players made more than $500K. In 2024, 302 players make that much and 115 make over $1M. Oh how far we’ve come.

Head Coach Hot Seats

Nashville SC skipper Gary Smith was the first to go. He managed the club throughout their entire professional life but was never able to get them over the hump. A really solid coach who had reached his peak.

With Nashville sitting 11th in the Eastern Conference with only 13 points in as many games, it was time for a change.

Other Head Coach Hot Seats:

Gonzalo Pineda 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 

Winless in 8 straight with a World Cup winning midfielder and one of the leagues best scorers. It’s unacceptable.

Frank Klopas 🔥 🔥 🔥 

Chicago have 10 points in 14 games with a -13 goal differential. He seems in over his head since taking over as interim head coach last year.

Caleb Porter 🔥 🔥 

It’s not often that first year head coaches get canned but don’t be surprised if we see that in New England. Apparently Porter snubbed owner Jonathan Kraft after Saturday’s game and players and coaches we’re arguing in the locker room. It can’t get much worse than that.

USMNT June Roster

The USMNT training camp roster to prep for Copa America is out. This will be the squad that play friendlies against Columbia (June 8th) and Brazil (June 12th) and there will only be minor changes to the final squad that will play in Copa America.

Joe Scally is the obvious Dest replacement at right back but Berhalter also mentioned Weston McKennie, Tim Weah, and Yunas Musah as options. It’s a bit surprising that DeAndre Yedlin was left out but Shaq Moore was included. Berhalter loves himself some Shaq Moore.

Johnny Cardoso has been nominated for La Liga’s best U-23 player of the season. He ranks top 6 among La Liga defensive midfielders in tackle percentage, duel percentage, and aerial win percentage. He is a real threat to the number six role that Tyler Adams has held down for so long.

Oh and here are random but funny meme’s of USMNT players as summer camp counselors.

Goal of the Week

Phew 🫢 

Tweet of the Week

RAQUINHO!! One of the best moments of the year.

Quick Hits

• Chucky Lozano is expected to sign with San Diego FC soon (Link)

• Christian Pulisic gets a shoutout from Jurgen Klopp (Link)

• Cameron Carter-Vickers wins another Scottish title with Rangers (Link)

• San Diego FC sign a five-year partnership with Club Tijuana (Link)

• Christian Pulisic and Puma drop their latest collection (Link)

• Antonee Robinson has his 100th EPL appearance (Link)

• Weston McKennie and Tim Weah won the Coppa Italia with Juventus (Link)

Alright that’s it. See you beautiful humans next week!